Resentments are the #1 killer of intimacy in relationships. When we are in relationships things happen, we may get a little grudge here and resentment there, sometimes it goes away, sometimes it doesn’t.

When there resentments are staying inside of it creates a snowball effect and makes it hard to sustain harmonious relationships.

I personally love simplifying things, it goes towards everything, relationships including. If there would be one thing that can simplify things here and prevent on a first place accumulation of resentments and disappointments it’s setting up ground rules or a list of non-negotiable.

What do I mean by non-negotiable? It a list your personal values and expectations in relationships. It doesn’t have to be huge, 10 points are enough. For example, for me it’s important to have honesty, connection, respect in relationships, having my SPA day once in while where it can be just me with me. It’s basically what’s important for you at that moment in that relationships.

Non-negotiable is like setting up rules on a playground. You either agree and follow these rules, or you disagree and then negotiate or don’t play the game on a first place.

The list of your non-negotiable will change over time and it’s normal. We are constantly evolving, and so does our values.

The biggest mistake partners do (especially for some reason it’s us, women) is to assume that your partner has to read your thoughts and feelings when you act and speak opposite. It’s good if they are psychic or a skilled empath who can then help and support, but most of the time that’s not a case.

This practice helped me to rebuild my relationships with my husband. To be honest it wasn’t a magic wand, it wasn’t happening over night even with my awareness of it. But it did give me clarity. I did spent a good year unfolding all my knots, discovering my personal values and what I actually want to see in my relationships. But with all that I’m extremely grateful for that experience as it brought me to where I am right now.

Have a wonderful day,