Let’s talk about forgiveness and how to forgive, how to let go of all that resentments and all of that emotional heavy burden that is related to resentments. Resentments, from energy healing perspective, the way I perceive them, are seen like dark heavy dense energy that is literally poisoning us from the inside.
Of course we can talk about resentments and all of that negativity related to resentments for hours. We can talk for even more hours about the benefits of forgiveness work. To put it all in one simple sentence, the more resentments we accumulate and hold on to the more harm and damage we are causing to ourselves on emotional, physical, mental, spiritual levels.
And the funny thing is, that person you resent to may not even know that you resent that person, and probably doesn’t even care about you resenting that person. So, at the end of the day, the only one who is suffering from resentment is you.
For the sake of simplicity I break it down into 4 steps.
Step #1. Acknowledgment. You acknowledge who you resent and why do you resent that person. If you resent yourself, then why do you resent yourself.
Step #2. Expression. That’s where you allow yourself to fully express all that negative emotions, all negative feelings, hatred, pain, hurt, anger, grudges, all negativity that you have experienced from that resentment and how that other person made you feel like during that moment when it was created. You allow yourself to fully express it without any shame or guilt, in whatever words you want to express it.
Step #3. Lessons. We are always learning something. Our soul is growing and expanding by mastering certain qualities, by mastering and learning certain virtues, by learning particular life lessons. And this is not exception. We are still learning and mastering certain virtues, we are gaining some qualities, learning some life lessons. So our goal here is to find these lessons by asking ourselves a couple of good questions.
Simply ask yourself “what good lessons have I learned through that experience?”, “what can I possible learn positive or take positive for myself from that experience?”, “how that experience made me a better person?”, “how does that experience serve me?”, or “what would happen if a let go of that resentment completely and I forgive that person?” Sometimes it may serve us in a way that it may keep us safe or it may motivate us to do things or achieve things to prove to somebody that we are worthy, we deserve it, we are enough, we can be a better person, etc.
Quite often people would say “oh, I’m not getting or learning anything out of it” (keep asking and listen to the answer) or “I’m learning only negative stuff like how not to trust anyone, not to communicate, just know your place, who do you think you are, I am unworthy or don’t even try, shut up, stay on your place” and so on. O’K, but we need to stay focused on positive ones.
Maybe you’re learning that process of forgiveness, the virtue of forgiveness. Maybe you’re learning the virtue of trust or the quality of discernment on who to trust and when to trust. Maybe you’re learning how to communicate gently , or how to express yourself in a right way, or personal self-worth, or how to hold and respect your personal boundaries and boundaries of other people, or how to take action and make decisions, etc. Whatever lessons or learnings you’re getting out of it that is what brings you awareness and what you’re awakening within yourself.
Step #4. Gratitude. That is when you say Thank You to the person you resent to, for bringing up these lessons, for teaching you these valuable amazing lessons, for allowing you to master particular qualities or virtues, for helping you achieve things, become a better person. And once you thank, you can say “I no longer need you in my life to teach me all of these lessons, I know them now, I’ve got them, I’ve mastered them and I’m now a way better person. I don’t need you anymore to teach me these.”
Let’s blend it all in and practice.
Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breath in and out. Visualize the person you resent to is standing in front of you (if you resent yourself, imagine your reflection like in a mirror in front of you). Look that person in the eyes and say why do you resent him or her. And allow yourself to express all that pain, negative feelings and emotions without any shame or guilt.
And then you say “but I have learned these lessons ______ (name all the lessons you have learned, all the qualities you developed, all virtues you’ve mastered). And now with that deep sense of gratitude you can say “thank you for bringing to my awareness all these wonderful lessons, all these amazing qualities and virtues. Thank you for these lessons, I have learned them and I no longer need you in my life to teach me these”. And with sense of gratitude, let go of that person, all that negative energy and resentments out of your space. You can even visualize all of that is getting out of your space. And allow the wave of forgiveness to come to you, through you and fill your space and every cell of your body. Take a couple of deep breath in and out, keep breathing and with the breath you let go of all negativity so now you can fill that space with gratitude and forgiveness.
Have a blissful day,